t.v.

I promise that pretty soon, I'm going to write some sort of serious update about settling in here, but right now, I can't focus on anything but what I'm about to talk about....


For about 3 weeks, we lived in this house with no television. I hate admitting that i'm one of those people who is addicted to t.v., but i am - it's an escape, and more importantly, it's background noise - even if i'm not sitting and watching it, i just like HEARING it - it makes me feel less alone or something - anyway, before we got a t.v., I would spend hours every day (and tons of $$$) downloading t.v. shows off of itunes to keep myself occupied, or running back and forth every other day to the base library to rent movies to watch, and i'd sit here in front of my computer screen (which seemed plenty large enough until I began relying on it as pretty much my sole source of entertainment) huddled under a blanket with headphones on, longing for the day that i could pick up a remote control again and flip through channels.

about two weeks ago, we made significant progress when we actually purchased a t.v. - i never thought it would feel like such a significant step to just OWN one, but just hanging it on the wall (luckily, the tenant before us left the brackets up, AND the place is fully wired for surround sound) and having the ability to watch dvds was a vast improvement...

then, two days ago, the satellite guy came.

british t.v. is so different, and yet so similar to t.v. back home....there are some obvious differences (lots of channels strictly dedicated to soccer, entertainment shows that talk about celebrities i'm still not really familiar with, lots of cursing), there are some comical similarities...i can tell what part of american culture they find the most interesting based on the shows they play of ours, and i don't know if i should be worried that these are the examples they see most of americans, or if i should put my trust in the fact that they HAVE to realize that these things aren't examples of ALL americans...like....

*sally jessy raphael: there is a channel that seriously plays an episode of sally every other hour. it's insane. and i'm talking OLD sally jessy - like, giant red glasses and shoulder pads sally jessy. like high drama sally jessie - and when this channel isn't playing SJR episodes, it's playing episodes of Maury.... and silly me - i thought leaving america meant never having to hear "you ARE the father" ever, ever again...

*fat people: they love documentaries about morbidly obese people. i didn't find this particularly odd (since there's a lot of shows about this in america as well) until i realized that all the shows i've seen so far, except for ONE (Britain's Fattest Man), featured morbidly obese AMERICAN people....GREAT!

*the jersey shore: snookie and all her guido pals are as big here as they are in america, much to my dismay. i wasn't a big jersey shore fan back home (i totally admit to watching the first season, but it wasn't enough to keep my attention beyond that), but i can find the humor in the episodes i HAVE seen - it's just worrisome to me that people in the UK may watch shows like the jersey shore and think that all americans are all about the "GTL" and poufing their hair.....they love ALL things jersey for that matter - they play episodes of jerseylicious 3 times a day, and even that show called jersey couture gets airtime!

they DO show lots of reruns of american shows that i love: Gilmore Girls, friends, sex and the city - and they don't really censor anything - i almost choked on the water i was drinking last night when i heard the word "fuck" come out of my television. it was alarming and glorious at the same time....but there are things that are kind of confusing like how they have Comedy Central here, but all they show on it is episodes of fraiser, friends, and how i met your mother....

but the BEST part of having the t.v. again? THE TECHNOLOGY - see, i'm admittedly WAY behind everyone else when it comes to t.v. stuff - i've never had HD anything or a freaking TiVo, but we went all out this time - our television is glorious in it's own right, but when i realized that i could do things with this t.v. that i've never done with t.v. before - i don't know really how to explain it - it's like what happens when someone who spent years fighting against buying an iPhone finally breaks down and buys one...it's like "how did i ever function WITHOUT this?" - i almost fully expect to come home one night to find my television in the kitchen making me dinner....okay, not really.....

anyway, i can record things! i can fast forward through commercials! last night, i was convinced i saw someone playing a "dead person" blink, and i could rewind it to try to prove it! it's glorious! i feel like i've been living in another century! why didn't any of you tell me it was THIS GOOD???

the only really bad part about it so far that i can see is that as far as shows i watch regularly and am familiar with, they are at least a season or two behind whatever is showing in america (Kristen JUST came back to the Hills, if you know what i mean), but with 500+ channels, i guess i can deal.....