so we are about three weeks into this whole marriage thing, and honestly, nothing really feels that much different. Of course, i have a new piece of jewelry, and i've had to stop myself from calling gene my "fiance" at least 50 times, but aside from that, it's pretty much back to business as usual.
I haven't made a big giant post about the wedding and the details for a few reasons....for one, I'm too lazy to transfer any pictures onto my computer from my phone/camera/disc of a million pictures that a family friend took, and i've also been pretty busy trying to get back to being used to working and getting our apartment back into a tolerable, livable condition. I'm not even able to muster up the energy right now to do a detailed entry about the wedding, so (for now), i'm just gonna give you the cliffs notes version.....
the rehearsal dinner was way more fun and way more fabulous than i ever could have imagined it to be. it was everything i wanted - relaxed, fun, open - gene and i threw out the first pitch at the game (gene actually did the throwing, i just stood there looking weird), and then hung out in one of the party suites at autozone park and had a blast with our friends and family. lots of good food, booze, and baseball - what more could you ask for? plus, the redbirds actually won that night!
the wedding day was hectic and stressful - all the things people warn you about - and of course, i ran late all day long. i went into a near panic attack when it started raining as i was having my makeup done, and then i was told that the area we were in was under a flash flood warning....our ceremony was outside, and with the rain came the "how do you want us to proceed?" phone calls from our coordinator - i remember thinking that it was like a punch line to some awful joke....raining on a weatherman's wedding day.....anyway, mom and i had dad and gene check out the weather, and after being assured by both of them that the rain would be over with long before the actual ceremony started, decided that since we would be paying for all the flowers, chairs, etc. if we used them or not, that we would go ahead and proceed as planned. turns out that dad and gene were right, and it was totally dry outside by the time i walked down the aisle.
the biggest hitch that day was my floral designer.
When the planning started, i was very excited about her. nobody else that we hired for the wedding had ever heard of her or worked with her (which, in hindsight should have been a gigantic, waving red flag), but I thought she did beautiful work, and seemed very professional when we met, so i felt confident that she would be awesome. that being said, the closer the wedding got, the less professional she became, and the more issues we had with her. nothing ever stayed exactly the same from one conversation to the next, and if you asked her for detailed descriptions of anything, she would give you a half-assed, smart mouthed answer. i became increasingly uncomfortable with how reluctant she was to give us details, and quickly became irritated with the attitude she often gave to my mother in conversation and in email. she once said something that implied that our asking so many questions about details was somehow compromising her artistic integrity, and i almost lost my shit. i realize that as a "designer," you have the last say in how something looks, but if you are being paid a ridiculous amount of money to perform a service, i think the people paying you have a right to know exactly what it is that they are paying for....
anyway, the flowers that were at the ceremony/reception were beautifully arranged, but none of it was exactly what was agreed upon, described, or paid for. my bouquets didn't arrive until i was already an hour and a half into taking pictures (perhaps this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me, a bride's bouquet is as much a part of her outfit as her veil or her shoes, and without it, i just didn't feel completely like a bride), and when they did arrive, there were issues - for one, you would think that she would have rushed the bouquets to me along with the guys boutonnières personally, with some sort of apology or explanation as to why she really put a damper on my wedding pictures, but instead, my bridesmaids had to physically go get their bouquets and flowers for the guys from her. Some assistant brought me my bouquet, and when it was first handed to me, water trickled down the front of my dress - this sort of irritated me, but it wasn't the end of the world - then i look down, and the ivory flowers in my bouquet were already on their last legs - the tips of them were already turning brown, as were all of the boutonnières for the guys, and every white or ivory flower in every other bouquet. one of the bridesmaids bouquets came without the grey satin handle, and when this was pointed out to the designer (by one of the bridesmaids), she insisted that the bridesmaid had lost it or misplaced it, when in reality, she had been the one who had forgotten to put it on the bouquet at all. When i'd first arrived at the museum to get ready for pictures, my two matrons of honor immediately told me about the "flower situation" - apparently the designer had just left to go pick up the bouquets, which hadn't even been completed, just a few minutes before i arrived at the venue. the designers claim was that the "rain put her behind schedule" because she had to wait until it cleared off to complete the floral stuff outside. my thoughts on that? if you know it's going to rain for a while, rendering you unable to complete anything outside, and you have other tasks that can be completed, like, say, THE BRIDES BOUQUET, then how about instead of sitting on your ass in the museum waiting on the rain to pass, you get into your vehicle, drive on over to wherever you do your business, and complete the things that you should have completed already? i fully expected, at some point, to hear an "i'm really sorry" about the issues that went on, but i never did. i passed her in the hallway a few times before the ceremony while we were doing pictures, and she never said a single word to me. from what i was told, she gave everyone she did speak to nothing but attitude, so i'm actually glad she didn't approach me.
I didn't get all bridezilla and go off about anything, because once we got to that point in the day, all i could think about was getting down the aisle. yes, my flowers were turning brown, and there are going to be some pictures where only half of the groomsmen have their flowers pinned on, but what good would getting worked up about it then have done me? none. it wasn't going to change the outcome, so i just decided that i'd take the punches as they came and roll with it. and that's exactly what i did. now that it's over, and i've had some distance, I've thought about complaining directly to her, or writing an email, but what's the point? it won't accomplish anything, and it's not like i get a "wedding do-over," so i'd just be wasting my time...but i'd still like to know where these "pink and green parrot tulips" we paid for are, because they certainly weren't at MY wedding.....anyway, enough about that.
the wedding was perfect, but in the moments prior to it starting, i was an emotional wreck. i sort of expected to be a little emotional, but not nearly as emotional as i was.....i stood there in the foyer of the museum, waiting to be told that i could go outside and start the ceremony, and these waves of different feelings just started to come over me. i felt excited and nervous, anxious and scared....and i was somehow simultaneously feeling the absence and presence of my grandmother at the same time (that probably doesn't make much sense, but that's the only way i know how to describe it - it killed me that she wasn't there, and yet, she was everywhere). i nearly hyperventilated before i walked down the aisle, and then cried through the entire ceremony. the aisle was probably the longest aisle EVER, but it was so unique and special - i can't wait until i have some pictures that show exactly what was going on there - it was basically a big spiral of chairs with an altar in the middle, so on my way to the altar, i literally walked past every guest....it made for a pretty long walk, but it was also very intimate and special. gene and i wrote our own vows - his were more sweet and funny, and mine were more serious. I should have probably gone with my instincts and gone with "funny," but i still deeply meant every word i said, so i have no regrets.
after the ceremony, everyone went in to the reception, and gene and i were taken to a private room with plates of food set up for us, so we could just spend a few minutes together, and actually eat. thank goodness we did that, because i don't think we stopped long enough during the entire reception to have been able to eat - i didn't even have an entire drink until almost 11:00 that night, because every time i picked one up, i'd have to go dance, or cut the cake, or throw my bouquet.....
i don't honestly even remember half of who was there. when we looked at the guest book, i probably said "i didn't see them!" a dozen times. I feel bad that i didn't get to talk to everyone who was there, but i suppose that's how most weddings go. people aren't kidding when they tell you that it flies by, and that it's all a blur, and that you won't remember half of what happened.
i remember quite a few things - a few of the highlight reel that runs through my brain at some point every day: every toast that was made (they all made me cry!), dancing with my dad, the first time i saw gene that day in the holly court, my mom and dad dancing together at the end of the night, the feeling of scooping confetti out of my dress, how lucky i felt to have my two best friends by my side as i married the love of my life.....
but there are plenty of things i missed or that i completely don't remember, and that's okay too - that's what pictures are for, right??? the important thing - the one that matters most of all - is that we did what we went there to do. i married my best friend, and we promised our lives to each other, and we did it all surrounded by people who love us and mean the world to us. it was an incredibly special day, and even with the little hitches, it was absolutely perfect.
i've had wedding withdrawal since almost the instant it was over. it was weird to realize the next day that the world no longer revolved around planning a wedding. i've sort of been at a loss, and kind of sad about it. i can't stop looking at bridal magazines - which is a horrible thing to do after your wedding, because i've found that you see things and go "i should have done THAT," even though when you saw it in the magazine before the wedding, you didn't even like it at all - so i tried to throw all of mine away, but couldn't bring myself to do it. i decide instead to give them to a friend who is getting married, so at least they will be in good hands, and not in some trash heap somewhere. i have taken all the magazines and books out of my apartment and put them into a box in my car to give to my friend, that way i can't sit around and look at them, and long to plan another wedding. i'll admit that i kept ONE magazine (the most recent issue of the knot, which is my favorite of all the magazines i ever purchased), and two of the books - one is an emily post etiquette book, and the other is just about floral arrangements....i figured these were safe, because neither are strictly all about weddings....
it helps with the withdrawals that i get to play bride one more time for my actual bridal portraits. we decided to do them after the wedding so that i wouldn't have to worry about screwing my dress up prior to the wedding (i'm so clumsy that if i'd done them before the wedding, i would surely have ended up completely destroying my dress, no matter how careful i was), and also so that i can get a few shots with my dogs in them. anyway, it's kind of exciting that i get to put that dress on one more time...
so this was supposed to be a short, condensed version of events, but as you can see, i went off on my little typical rants, and things got, uh...lengthy. hopefully i'll throw some pictures up here soon.
someday maybe i'll even have the energy to talk about the honeymoon......
are you laughing at the title of this entry now? nothing about this is condensed.....
