christmas is over already. how did that happen? i guess its really like that every single year though - all the build up and anticipation for one day, and when its over, you kinda look back and go "wait? its over?!?!" - you put in so much time, effort, money and stress over something that only really last for a few hours, and results in picking shredded paper out of every empty spot in your living room, and an overwhelming sense of regret over eating that extra piece of pie "because its a holiday"
i mean, really - think of how much work goes into celebrating the holidays - all the shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking - and its all over in less than 24 hours. i guess weddings and christmas have that in common! seriously - it seems like before the plates from christmas dinner have even made their way into the dishwasher, people are already pulling the ornaments off their trees and putting away the tinsel and holly in their proper containers, not to be seen again until next year.....i didn't put up any decorations this year, but if i had, i can promise you that they would have at least hung out until after the first of the year - i feel like a lot of people never get to slow down enough during the holiday season to just enjoy all the work they've done - there should be a day where you are legally required to just sit on your ass sipping cocoa and staring at your beautifully decorated tree/mantle/yard/dog.
this christmas at home was pretty standard, obviously aside from the fact that it was our first without Grammy. because she is gone, there wasn't as much fuss made over the decorating of her house, but even though my grandfather objected (in his "i'm gonna say i don't want you to do that, but deep down, i really do want you to" way), mom did manage to get one of the trees up and decorated. we did the traditional christmas morning breakfast (this is my FAVORITE part of christmas, honestly. there is no breakfast i love more than one cooked by my mom), and then had our big dinner over at P.R.'s house - the only thing that was a little strange was the noticeable absence of holiday decor - my grandmother used to hire people to come help her decorate trees and the railing along the staircase, and there were always white lights in the trees and shrubs that lined her driveway - she took this stuff SERIOUSLY - this year there weren't any outside wreaths, or lights on the shrubs, and the mantles were completely bare, and i have to admit that it did make it feel a little less like an actual holiday to me. i missed the weird array of nativity scenes all about the house, and the "fancy" tree she always put upstairs, and driving down the driveway to their house and not being afraid of having an epileptic seizure from the random, rapid light patterns on the trees just made it all feel less real. less jolly. less.....christmas-y. i really, really missed the lights. maybe next year we will be ready to have a more "Grammy" christmas again.
it did occur to me how much i desperately miss the way christmas felt when i was a kid. i can remember literally counting down days until christmas eve, and obsessively shaking the wrapped packages under the tree with my name on them, trying to figure out what i was getting - and then, of course, there was santa claus - santa claus and i had a pretty special relationship as far as i was concerned, because i had a part-time employee of his workshop living in my house - the christmas that i was 1, santa brought me this gigantic (okay, he's not gigantic to me NOW, but when i was 1, he was pretty freaking huge) blue bear who became my very best friend - i wasn't exactly verbal enough to come up with some super creative name back then, so he just goes by Blue Bear... anyway, it became a tradition that every year, Blue would wait by the chimney for Santa, and when he would come to drop off our gifts, Santa would take Blue along with him to the nearby houses to help out, cause, well, they are tight like that - Blue would always end up with some sort of note, or in some weird place so that we knew for sure that he went on rounds with Santa. i mean, seriously, imagine being a little kid and truly believing with all your heart that you have a friend on the inside of the santa operation - i can't recall a time that i didn't get exactly what i asked for at christmas, so i guess i have to give part of that credit to Blue....anyway, it's a cute tradition - one that we STILL keep up, even though my brother and i are getting pretty old - this year Blue Bear was left on the fireplace as usual, but on christmas morning he was passed out on the floor (and had knocked a few things over, which prompted me to ask if he'd been drinking, but i digress) with a large red bag like santa would normally carry - in it were my presents from Gene, and i thought it was pretty cute touch. Gene kind of went overboard, but i love everything he got me.
now that i'm an adult, i don't make christmas lists, but there are always people who ask if there is anything i need/want, and i can usually come up with a few things - this year i got everything i mentioned and more, and as always, i feel totally lucky to have such a generous and loving family. i got some things i needed, some i just wanted, and some i didn't know i needed or wanted, but have since discovered that i can't imagine how i functioned without them - i know that gift giving isn't the "reason for the season," but it's a pretty nice perk to the holiday, especially when you rack up like i did! ha.
anyway, i hope everyone had a fantastic holiday, and that you all made it on the "good" list and found exactly what you wanted under your tree this year. oh, and by the way, you only have 361 days left to shop until NEXT christmas.....
